1. People respect you more if you are just a little bit mean.
  2. Gams > tits.
  3. Neopolitan ice cream is a social experiment.
  4. Aesthetics always trend toward nostalgia. Expect fashion to mimic that of 20-something childhoods.
  5. The Monkees were not a real band, but very nearly flawless. This speaks to the human condition.
  6. People are sexier in summer not from tans, but the subtle glow of constant sweatiness.
  7. Too much peanut butter makes a person farty.